Brightline
Dec 13, 2024
Now that we’re two weeks closer to the end of the year, how are you feeling? Ready and steady? Or a combination of overwhelmed and underprepared?
No matter how today feels, we’ve got three simple tips that can help you embrace the days to come. And they all start with the same idea.
The idea is to give yourself permission.
Allow yourself to make things easier if you need to. Bring happiness to someone else knowing it will have the same uplifting effect on you. And stand up for what you know your family needs (even if it means doing things a little differently).
The idea goes along with these three simple tips:
Give yourself permission to keep it simple. You might have visions in your head (and in your social media feed) about how to make this holiday season the “best one ever.” And after thinking about the things you want to decorate and make and do — and all the time and energy they will take — you find yourself exhausted instead of excited. Guess what? Probably around zero people are coming to photograph your home for the holidays. So lower your own expectations (even just a little). Leftovers still fill hungry bellies. Last year’s wrapping paper works just fine this year, too. And a single strand of twinkle lights can make any room in the house feel glowy and showy.
Give yourself permission to make someone else smile. Parents and caregivers often have a hard time putting themselves first, especially during the holidays. But remember — you can boost your own happiness and gratitude by giving someone else a lift, too. It’s called “vicarious joy” and it’s real! (Fun fact: You can keep this simple, too.) You could help a neighbor carry their grocery bags to the door. Tie a festive bow around all the mailboxes on your street. Bake a batch of cookies and bring half to a friend. Send a note to your child’s favorite teacher, coach, or counselor thanking them for the positive impact they’ve had on your family this year. Can you think of other ideas?
Give yourself permission to show up for your child. Challenging behaviors — even the ones your child is learning how to manage — can show up over the holidays. When kids are overtired and overstimulated it’s harder for them to regulate. And even younger ones can sense tension, hear frustration, and feel confusion. Add in pressure from family members who expect everyone to behave a certain way and you’ve got a recipe for disaster. But there’s hope! You know your child best. And you know what they need. When you honor that, you can both relax.
For example, let’s say your busiest time of day also happens to be the time when your child seems to want your undivided attention. Instead of feeling spread thin or torn between two needs, give yourself permission to tune into your child. Decide that 5:30pm is “Five Minutes of Fun” time (or whatever works for your family), set a timer, and bring everyone a burst of joy. Try a quick dance party to a favorite song, a snuggle session, or letting your child choose the short activity.
Sometimes, the pressure comes from outside your four walls. Imagine Great Aunt Alex hosts everyone for the holiday and she always serves dinner late — like right around your child’s bedtime. In years past, you’ve kept your child awake to show Alex your whole family appreciates her hard work on the meal. But you end up spending the evening negotiating loud meltdowns, apologizing over and over, and eating cold food. This year, bring along a simple dinner you know your child will enjoy, their pajamas, and some bedtime books. Have your child eat and get ready for bed on their schedule. When it’s time to sit at the table, tuck your sleepy little one onto your lap or into a quiet corner to read and enjoy your dinner while it’s hot. No apologies or explanations needed!
We hope these tips will help you enjoy your child, your family, and yourself over the holidays and all year long.